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It cleaned the whole bottle. " -A.
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|"year: not sure, i was pretty wasted
that weekend. maybe 1995
location: again, not sure, i was pretty wasted that weekend. something about the
scene: roof of a boat
i awoke that dark and gloomy morninig quite excited about the event which was soon to take place. the caps tournament. armed with a hangover and a bud-weis-er i pulled myself to the roof of the boat where i was to begin the longest and hardest fight of my life. my partner, kevin w. alias "pear boy 2". together we were team pear boy, the bad boys of caps. nobody wanted us to win nor, did they expect us to win.
the organizer of the tournament, leonard raab (remember that savage). set the ladder for the games to begin. trying to crush any hopes that team pearboy may have of winning this tournament, len made our first match against the infamous "casual how-how" and partner (partners' name unimportant). for as everyone knows a penny thrown by howhow cuts through the surface of your beer like a knife through butter, smooth as silk. usually with no splash. this a technique which how-how has mastered to ensure the most consumption possible by the opposing team. some may say, that it is that extra amout of beer consumed which eventually wears down how-how's opponents. unaware of the plot against us we entered into the ring. a great battle ensued, we eventually lost. at the end of the match we saw that the raab man was elated about our loss. it was then that we realized what had happened. we had been set up for a fall. raab, believing he had crushed our spirit set up the next match.
now kevin (pear boy 2) and i (pear boy 1) were on a mission, a mission from goddddddd! armed with new life and more bud we began our march towards the finals. we trounced every opponent. some teams raab made us play twice in the hopes he could run down our spirits but, we were strong and took everything he threw at us. at the end of each match we celebrated with a belly bump and a chant which went like this:
it could be heard across the entire island.
we reached the semi-finals. our opponents i believe were todd (is everyone drinking as hard as i am) s. and ken f.. it is here where first blood was drawn. raab in fear that we may get our deserved rematch with how-how poured a substance other than beer into our glasses. we began to falter. our brains went to mush, as can be seen on the carousal video of that year. somehow we managed to hold on and win in the semi-finals. our time was about to come!
just as in a bruce lee movie we entered into the ring one more time. our weary bodies and minds were to be no match for the fresh and sober how-how. i wish i had a happy ending for this story but, i can't remember what happened next!!"
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|"let's not forget when craig g.
threw a perfectly good (and totally unattached) anchor
into the water. a solid hour of diving into ten feet of
water and he never found it. no trouble though, he lifted
one from a neighboring barge as soon as we pulled into
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